


Watching

by dragonndoggod



Series: alt universe [27]
Category: Sex Pistols | Love Pistols
Genre: Drabble, F/M, M/M, Onesided Love, Song Inspired, Song Lyrics, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-28
Updated: 2011-02-28
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7957054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonndoggod/pseuds/dragonndoggod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shirou had thought that the pain of watching the one he loved with another would go away.  What he wants is so far out of his grasp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watching

**Author's Note:**

> The song that inspired this drabble is "Abuse of SID" by Hurt. Though this drabble isn't about abuse, the fact that the lyrics fit in the twisted relationship/feelings that Shirou has.

_Oh, excuse me, you’re morning,_  
_how callous and boring,_  
 _I brush your hair._  
 _See your face, empty smile._  
 _I touch that face,_  
 _all the while…_

He watched from where he stood, watching as the one he loved leaned down, whispering to a girl who stood at his side.  Fingers digging into the rough bark of the tree he hid behind, his heart clenching at the light laugh of the girl while the deep voice of the blond.  Eyes watering when he watched them kiss, pressing and hiding when the pair walked by, making sure that he wasn’t seen before he turned and pressed his back against the tree.

He learned to hide his feelings, to push down the love and want so he could stay by his side without fear of being rejected. Knowing that it was his fear of being rejected that kept him from blurting words that he knew would disgust the one he loved.  And yet, he kept coming back for more. The harsh words when he tried to be a friend, one after another. The trembling of his hands as he clenched them at his sides, wishing he could give up of the feelings he held.

He knew that if he were to confess and see the hatred flicker in blue eyes when he’d be mocked and knew.  Knew that that the words that will be spoken would be words that would break him in ways he could never recover, no matter how much he tried.

Every time he tried to get over the blond after he came over, failing over and over again.  Giving in when Yonekuni would show up on his doorstep and when he left, suffering the pain of having to let go.

He could only watch from the third floor of the school, his hand pressing against the cool glass as he stared down. Heart breaking as he watched the blond take the hand of the girl at his side, fingers lacing together and he closed his eyes. Leaning against the glass, resting his forehead as he fought back the pain that threatened to overwhelm him.

He thought that after two years, the pain of not being with the one he loved would diminish, not become stronger.

 _Still wont you hold him and trust him,_  
_you love him, so much, and he still wont care._  
 _To see your face, with an empty smile,_  
 _cause I touched my place on you, and all the while…_


End file.
